My biggest pet peeve is not people who smack their lips, chew gum loudly, burp or make other sounds loudly and in public. It is one singular thing: "Yep" in response to me saying "Thank You." I don't know if this is something associated with the Midwest or just something I never noticed. Perhaps it's the newest development in the vernacular.
The thing about it that makes me the most incensed is that saying "Yep" in response to "Thank You" to me implies that Yes, I should in fact thank you for whatever you've done as in "Yes, you should have said Thank you. What I did demands that you thank me." I realize "yep" is a one syllable word, easy to get out. Most children around 12 months of age are able to say "yeah," yep" or some conjugation of the sound. However, a common response to "thank you" should contain at more than a simple of acknowledgment that someone has spoken. I will provide the following possible responses:
You're welcome (truly the most popular in my book)
No problem
My pleasure
Any time
While I realize these are all 3 syllables they at least convey an appropriate response. So thanks for reading...don't you dare say "yep"! ;)
Monday, October 5, 2009
Thursday, September 3, 2009
On husbands...
Over the last 5 years I've devised a plan to reduce the housework I need to complete. Some of its success is not of my own doing, but rather my husband's lack of desire to go shopping.
The biggest and best of these is laundry.
This is not the task the I enjoy most nor is it something that I was immediately successful in transitioning away from my task. The first year of marriage resulted in a load of my most favorite clothes being destroyed by the ink pen left in a pants pocket and the rest being put in the dryer that were either "Dry Clean Only" or "Lay Flat to Dry." Thus is the learning curve of a newly married man. How I have managed to maintain the assignment of duties is simple:
The biggest and best of these is laundry.
This is not the task the I enjoy most nor is it something that I was immediately successful in transitioning away from my task. The first year of marriage resulted in a load of my most favorite clothes being destroyed by the ink pen left in a pants pocket and the rest being put in the dryer that were either "Dry Clean Only" or "Lay Flat to Dry." Thus is the learning curve of a newly married man. How I have managed to maintain the assignment of duties is simple:
Make sure your husband has fewer pairs of underwear than you
When Matt runs out, he does the laundry, which is always significantly before I need to do it myself. This has been really good in the past with the exception that I have now learned one of his methods of deciding what to wash. Simply put, he picks the top half of the clothes in the laundry basket, washes those and goes on with life. This explains why I haven't been able to locate a particular shirt and wondered if perhaps I'd left it somewhere during out Southern Birthday Excursion. Alas, after two weeks of wondering (aloud often) where that shirt may be, I found it at the absolute bottom of the clothes pile for the wrong grouping (darks not lights). So while my plan has worked fairly well, I have found the flaw.
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Stress dreams
Apparently I am experiencing more anxiety than I thought. Things at work have been busy and with planning the vacation and munchkin's birthday, it hasn't been the most relaxing past few days. Yet it really takes a significant amount of stress to induce these dreams I have. In the past it's been a sign that I need to get out of whatever situation in which I have currently placed myself and I typically do. If it's signficant enough, the sobbing in my dream is realized when I wake up. Only this time, it did not relate to work, the munchkin or really anything on which I can have an impact.
Dad had a hard time with the April visit. As I mentioned in the last post, he and I had to have a sit-down talk because I was ready to be done with him. That manifested in my dream last night.
The set up for my dream was, I believe, Christmas at my grandparents house. Only my grandfather has been dead for 15 years and my sweet grandmother now lives in a retirement community battling dementia. Matt and I show up with presents and the whole she-bang and, as soon as we are unloaded, and Matt has left the room, my father launches into the issues from April (more like sharing them with the other family members) and then tells me I should leave. This, of course, is crushing. I oblige but not before going into the basement to tell my grandfather goodbye, which he doesn't understand. Then the dream transitions to another family gathering where I am still extremely hurt. Once everyone has arrived and getting ready to eat together, various members of my family begin to try to "share" what happened at the last gathering and I repeatedly ask them to stop, shift to screaming at them to stop. The group, at that point, begins to laugh and count as I repeat the phrase "Shut your mouth" as each person begins to talk. When they reach 8 or 9, instigated by a tall "uncle" (don't know who he is) I launch myself into him, throw him to the floor and repeatedly scream the same phrase while punching him in the face.
Where did this anger come from? Why did I wake up on the verge of tears?
I know I miss my grandfather and I didn't realize it had been 15 years until I started writing this. I hate I didn't get to tell him goodbye. The brain tumor took him away before I could say I loved him one more time.
I dunno...probably ought to get on the treadmill and run, but now it's time for work.
Dad had a hard time with the April visit. As I mentioned in the last post, he and I had to have a sit-down talk because I was ready to be done with him. That manifested in my dream last night.
The set up for my dream was, I believe, Christmas at my grandparents house. Only my grandfather has been dead for 15 years and my sweet grandmother now lives in a retirement community battling dementia. Matt and I show up with presents and the whole she-bang and, as soon as we are unloaded, and Matt has left the room, my father launches into the issues from April (more like sharing them with the other family members) and then tells me I should leave. This, of course, is crushing. I oblige but not before going into the basement to tell my grandfather goodbye, which he doesn't understand. Then the dream transitions to another family gathering where I am still extremely hurt. Once everyone has arrived and getting ready to eat together, various members of my family begin to try to "share" what happened at the last gathering and I repeatedly ask them to stop, shift to screaming at them to stop. The group, at that point, begins to laugh and count as I repeat the phrase "Shut your mouth" as each person begins to talk. When they reach 8 or 9, instigated by a tall "uncle" (don't know who he is) I launch myself into him, throw him to the floor and repeatedly scream the same phrase while punching him in the face.
Where did this anger come from? Why did I wake up on the verge of tears?
I know I miss my grandfather and I didn't realize it had been 15 years until I started writing this. I hate I didn't get to tell him goodbye. The brain tumor took him away before I could say I loved him one more time.
I dunno...probably ought to get on the treadmill and run, but now it's time for work.
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
I need to unload
I don't know what's going on, but the last month has been filled with more frustrations and irritations than I can even begin to share.
The family came for Easter. All the Grandparents played well together. Dad and I had to have a heart-to-heart with 2Bit as the Mediator. Seriously. The man is almost 60 and has the communication skills of a 10-year-old. So we got that worked out, at least for now.
Work has been another. There are so many different things going on and it's just reaching a point of wanting to scream (I'm also thinking about getting a punching bag...again). Some of it is just that I'm tired of the being the "flexible" team; the ones who can adjust our time, location, even the tests we give to accommodate others and never expect anything in return. That has now begun to bite me in the backside. Because we're so "flexible" and because KG is willing to take whatever scraps we're given, we're totally getting the shaft. And by that I mean, we're having to schedule patients over our lunch hour so we can get the data. Granted some of my RAs work over lunch so it's not a big deal, but it's the days where I am the only one and have to miss lunch with my baby so that this can happen. It's not the scheduler's fault. She's doing everything she can to find ways around that. It's just that we don't have the space. And today, when we were scheduled, it was decided that we weren't going to get the space we had been given. Why? Because it was easier for someone else. Were we asked if we'd be willing to switch? No. We weren't given any courtesy. We were expected to be "flexible."
Then there's my Biostats class. It's a good class. By why on God's green earth would you give a Graduate level class a group project. I haven't had one since my freshman year. That one didn't work our well because I did 80% of the work for a group of 5. Now there are 3 of us and, while I know each is putting in the effort, I feel like a dog chasing its tail sometimes. One of my group members is much more abstract and keeps trying to add creativity to a cut and dry project. So we spent 8 hours on Saturday banging our heads against a wall when we'd found the first step 30 minutes into our meeting.
Yesterday, Matt and I had a doozie of a fight. I needed him to pick up baby from school/daycare. I sent him an email (shortly after he'd written me), sent him a text--no response from either. Then at 3 I get an email from school that she was sick. I tried to call--no answer. Then sent another text that said "Nevermind" regarding his picking her up. Then I sit in the tx room for 30 minutes waiting on the doctor to come in and tell me, it's just diarrhea and nothing more (except, "yeah, that is a viral rash."). By this time it's almost 5. I was supposed to meet with my group at 4:30. At this point, I have 3 texts from Matt (no signal in the doc's office). Apparently, he went to daycare to pick her up. Then, when I didn't respond to his texts he went home...and waited. Then had the nerve to get mad at me for not calling him from the phone in the tx room. Yeah, cause I think he's gonna answer, right?
Anyway, it's just been like this for too long. Maybe it'll get better when classes end on the 15th. Maybe it'll all work out. Maybe we'll get these 4 papers done we've been working on and lighten the load. Maybe I'll get my other project started and finish the not-my-project project. In the mean time, it's really hard to do my job like I want.
Ugh...
The family came for Easter. All the Grandparents played well together. Dad and I had to have a heart-to-heart with 2Bit as the Mediator. Seriously. The man is almost 60 and has the communication skills of a 10-year-old. So we got that worked out, at least for now.
Work has been another. There are so many different things going on and it's just reaching a point of wanting to scream (I'm also thinking about getting a punching bag...again). Some of it is just that I'm tired of the being the "flexible" team; the ones who can adjust our time, location, even the tests we give to accommodate others and never expect anything in return. That has now begun to bite me in the backside. Because we're so "flexible" and because KG is willing to take whatever scraps we're given, we're totally getting the shaft. And by that I mean, we're having to schedule patients over our lunch hour so we can get the data. Granted some of my RAs work over lunch so it's not a big deal, but it's the days where I am the only one and have to miss lunch with my baby so that this can happen. It's not the scheduler's fault. She's doing everything she can to find ways around that. It's just that we don't have the space. And today, when we were scheduled, it was decided that we weren't going to get the space we had been given. Why? Because it was easier for someone else. Were we asked if we'd be willing to switch? No. We weren't given any courtesy. We were expected to be "flexible."
Then there's my Biostats class. It's a good class. By why on God's green earth would you give a Graduate level class a group project. I haven't had one since my freshman year. That one didn't work our well because I did 80% of the work for a group of 5. Now there are 3 of us and, while I know each is putting in the effort, I feel like a dog chasing its tail sometimes. One of my group members is much more abstract and keeps trying to add creativity to a cut and dry project. So we spent 8 hours on Saturday banging our heads against a wall when we'd found the first step 30 minutes into our meeting.
Yesterday, Matt and I had a doozie of a fight. I needed him to pick up baby from school/daycare. I sent him an email (shortly after he'd written me), sent him a text--no response from either. Then at 3 I get an email from school that she was sick. I tried to call--no answer. Then sent another text that said "Nevermind" regarding his picking her up. Then I sit in the tx room for 30 minutes waiting on the doctor to come in and tell me, it's just diarrhea and nothing more (except, "yeah, that is a viral rash."). By this time it's almost 5. I was supposed to meet with my group at 4:30. At this point, I have 3 texts from Matt (no signal in the doc's office). Apparently, he went to daycare to pick her up. Then, when I didn't respond to his texts he went home...and waited. Then had the nerve to get mad at me for not calling him from the phone in the tx room. Yeah, cause I think he's gonna answer, right?
Anyway, it's just been like this for too long. Maybe it'll get better when classes end on the 15th. Maybe it'll all work out. Maybe we'll get these 4 papers done we've been working on and lighten the load. Maybe I'll get my other project started and finish the not-my-project project. In the mean time, it's really hard to do my job like I want.
Ugh...
Thursday, February 26, 2009
To PhD or not to PhD...
This semester I decided to take one class. My intial reasoning was that it would benefit my job and increase my abilities to do what I currently do. It's a biostatistics class, so it can essentially help me to do my own analyses rather than relying on our current (and very capable) Biostatistician. The second reason, which came later, was my desire to tip my toe back into the world of academia and see whether I think PhD is feasible and something I want. I think it is, I really do. If so, do I want to do it now or do I want to wait? And if I want to wait, how long is too long?
The two ladies that I study with are both in the doctoral program; one in nursing and one in Speech and Hearing Science. Last night as we studied for our first exam and this morning as we recovered from it, they encouraged me to go for my degree. I'm just not sure if I should start it here or if I should wait to see where Matt ends up. I started looking at Johns Hopkins and Maryland in case Matt wins the Pershing's Own position. So I guess, I do want the degree, I just need to go for it. Anyone want to push?
Peace at alpha=.0001
The two ladies that I study with are both in the doctoral program; one in nursing and one in Speech and Hearing Science. Last night as we studied for our first exam and this morning as we recovered from it, they encouraged me to go for my degree. I'm just not sure if I should start it here or if I should wait to see where Matt ends up. I started looking at Johns Hopkins and Maryland in case Matt wins the Pershing's Own position. So I guess, I do want the degree, I just need to go for it. Anyone want to push?
Peace at alpha=.0001
Saturday, February 7, 2009
Ahhh
There are definitely days I love living in Iowa. Monday was particularly lovely as this beautiful eagle was sitting in the tree at the end of my parking lot. He sat there long enough for me to get this picture before he flew away, soaring above the law building and up the river.
It made my heart happy.
Friday, January 23, 2009
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Bummer-ish Birthday
My birthday was less than exciting. I guess that's what happens when Matt's out of town and very little else happens. The happy caveat for me was being taken to lunch by Brian, Ann and Stephanie. Still the diappointment was there, I have to admit. I was a little bummed out that there was no sign on my door (as usually occurs for birthdays in my department). Then again, I haven't had a sign on my door since BB left. There were no treats brought in my honor. And, while I didn't expect anything special for me, the fact that banners have been placed on doors this week makes me a little sad.
Dinner consisted of yummy take-home Chinese with my baby and then off to bed. I realize it wasn't a major birthday, but a solo birthday wasn't a desire either. I think it would have been better had I known that Matt was auditioning having advanced. Oh, well. If that's the worst thing that happens, I'm in pretty good shape.
Dinner consisted of yummy take-home Chinese with my baby and then off to bed. I realize it wasn't a major birthday, but a solo birthday wasn't a desire either. I think it would have been better had I known that Matt was auditioning having advanced. Oh, well. If that's the worst thing that happens, I'm in pretty good shape.
So now...
I've had a lot of things going on in my mind. With Matt's recent trip to DC for the Air Force Band audition, I prepared myself to move and start yet another chapter of our lives. Since that didn't work, I feel like I'm rewinding a little and trying to figure out when and if we'll be making plans like that again. He wants to put all of his energy into his recital and get that out of the way and then go from there. In the mean time, my future has been on my mind a lot. I'm not sure what I'll be doing next, but I think that I'd really like to teach. In fact, when I saw a job opening last week in LA, I didn't just skim over the requirements and press delete, I actually read it and have given it some serious thought. My only personal limitations are that I don't think I've had enough teaching experience. The only problem is, I don't really have any avenue for gaining that experience and thus begins my internal dialogue. I'm still trying to figure out the whole PhD thing: what I want to do and if I want to go through with it. I think taking this class this semester will help me have a better idea of whether this is something I want to persue now or wait a while longer. With Matt not knowing what he's going to do or where he's going to do it, I feel like I should continue to think it through.
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