When I was little I loved to watch movies, the happy kind where everything comes out as it should. Growing up, I stuck to movies with those themes. Even Clueless seemed to fit the mold; regardless of challenges everyone ends up happy. Sometimes I still wish my life would be that way. In high school, I was on the homecoming court, but didn't win. I was friends/acquaintances with a lot of people, but never in the "popular" crowd. I dreamt that Matt would proposed in some elaborate planned-out manner, not in his bedroom in his parents house while they sat downstairs unaware. I always believed my Dad would be the steadying force when I got married; instead, he was a source of disappointment. I thought he'd toast me at my wedding, he didn't.
I'm not begrudging my life, the people I know; the ones I love and who love me. I wouldn't give up the friendships I've made and the people who've touched my life for anything, but I think I've always wanted my life to have a Disney moment; that perfect, picturesque scene where birds sing on cue, the sun sets to just the right colors and people break into spontaneous song. I still hope for it, but I know those are the movies. They are created, scripted, shot and re-shot to be perfect. Still, something inside secretly wishes for that, longs for it, knowing it's all make-believe, but wanting the reality. That's what makes them so wonderful; that's what sucks me in a gives me hope that my Disney moment is yet to come.
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