just blah

I have had serious difficulties being productive this week. Actually, I've only had issues on alternating days so Tuesday was horrid, yesterday was good and today was kind of mediocre. The good thing is, everyone in my department was in the same kind of funk. I think it has to do with the crummy weather and the 4-day work week; that and the last week of insanity for the wedding and travel. I am excited to take more pictures off the wall and put them into boxes. The biggest challenge will be getting my paper out. I think it was truly close to being ready about a month ago, but that's before my prof read it and nearly rewrote it--twice. Now I've gone through both sets and decided on which editorial changes I can accept without feeling like too much of a worthless bag of crap who hands over her work to others.
And yet, this afternoon, Pirates is on TV, so I think I'll just pack and watch. Maybe I can be productive at home.

ah, the countdown..so sweet

The hood is in full bloom today; one of those days where you hope for rain. It started with Little Miss Ho-ho. I think she lives across the street, but can't be sure because she seems to "travel" around the neighborhood. Little Miss Ho-ho is the nickname my former neighbors gave her and it, to speak Southern-ly, ain't got nothin' to do with Christmas. She appeared to be quite upset with someone because I could hear her screaming into her cell phone through my windows and over the television. Plus, her emphasis was not lost when her breasts tried to jump out of the gold lamay, bikini top with cotton stomach shirt she was wearing. She was soon joined by people I believe also live in her place and a car where another woman got out to start the screaming-match. Once that ended, Little Miss Ho-ho and her friend walked down the block and back, apparently still perturbed. I could still hear their conversation when they returned some 30 minutes later. Now there's just the random mini-van with men hanging out. That I can live with, especialy since my house and windows aren't vibrating. Yet, I'm still looking forward to the exodus, counting down the days, packing the boxes with glee...for now, that is, while Katie screams in the yard next door.

home again...8 more days

The wedding was gorgeous (pictures to come later). Somehow during the wedding it was really hard for me to take pictures and do my duties. I managed not to blubber through the ceremony and only had a few tears streaking down my cheek. Let's just say, the appropriate placement of a nose-hair made all the difference in the world. Allow me to explain: the preacher, a wonderful-but hairy-individual officiated and every time the tear ducts started to fill I stared, very long and very hard, and a single, protruding nose hair. It makes me wonder whether it was strategically placed. It stuck out of his right nostril at least 3/4 of an inch, if not more. So it served as my saving grace (wonder if it was divine intervention...hmmm).

We had a great time with our families. Sunday night was Mom & Michael's 8th anniversary; Wednesday was the Guessture's battle at Dad & Jo's and lunch with my friends from the good old Raleigh days; Thursday I baked the cake; Friday I decorated the cake & went to the rehearsal and dinner; Saturday the big day; Sunday was brunch with the extended family and blubbering, lots of blubbering. You would have thought my heart was broken, which-in hindsight-probably was true. I referred to that as my "transitioning." I realized yesterday that I had always seen my little sister as the 6-year-old who loved to change clothes 3 times a day and while I knew she was growing up, the enormity of it didn't really land until the wedding. We also got a chance to see Matt's family. It was so great to see them all looking so fantastic. Grandma is walking with a walker (just for safety), Momma D is the cutest bald lady I've ever seen, Patty D is awesome (as usual), Bill & Susu are two of the best. We got to have dinner that included Southern fried chicken and catfish, coleslaw, white beans, hush puppies, and sweet tea....mmmm.
An 11-hour drive Monday and we were back to home...just for a little while.

good ole' NC

I love our (future) home and where we live, but there are certain things I can only get in NC: Lance crackers, Cheerwine, sweet tea, and mountains. I love the mountains and never realize how much I miss seeing them in the distance until I come home. How could anyone not miss this?

It's been a fun day: 2bit's programs are proofed, Mom and I bought 2bit some lingerie (therapy to come later), Gma-hoof got 2 new pairs of shoes, I got shoes for the wedding, and I got a facial. Not bad for done by 3:30. I can tell we're getting close to the end because Mom already forgot what day it is. I think I'm going to try to have lunch with some "old" friends tomorrow. We'll see how the sanity holds up. Tonight, I'm making the flowers for 2bit's cake and I bought pearl dust...very exciting!!!

peace, love & health

I've been "Grandma"-ed

I am definitely blaming the inability to recognize me on the bangs and new glasses. Yesterday was 2bit's bridal shower and I rode with Jo; 2bit with Mom and Grandma. So once I got to the shower, I started to take pictures of Jo and her sisters. Then I went into the other room to say "hello." My mom had to do a double-take to recognize me. BUT when I walked over to Grandma to give her a hug, she stuck her hand out like she didn't know who I was. Once she realized who I was, bless her heart, she started to cry. Once she regained her composure, she regained her "Grandma composure." Let's just say we don't call her "Grandma hoof-in-mouth" for nothing. The next phrase to come out of her mouth was "Have you put on weight?" Now that coming out of my grandmother's mouth one time is fine; twice would be forgivable. Three times would be the edge of alzheimer's or meanness. Well, let me just say she commented both to me and to others 5 times. 5 TIMES!!!! I mean, my ego can only be shattered so very quickly and repeatedly. First, was her question to me. Then to a lovely lady at the shower: "I think she's put on a few pounds don't you?" Then after dinner (in succession):
Gma-hoof: You're putting on weight like your daddy.
Me: Yes, ma'am
Gma-hoof: You have put on a few pounds haven't you?
Me: yes, ma'am
Gma-hoof: You do weigh more than you did at your wedding, right?
Me: yes, ma'am
The sad part is that I was prepared for the hair, prepared for the glasses, but not to have my BMI taken into account by an 89-year-old woman who thinks party mix is a healthy dinner. So once I got over myself (read as: stopped crying) and realized that my clothes still fit and I was happy and healthy, able to climb stairs, walk distances and carry heavy stuff, I was fine. Oh, and I did damage control after the shower to make sure she hadn't offended any hostesses. Tomorrow I get to take her shoe shopping....in public...won't that be fun? More stories to come, I'm sure
peace, love, & health

back in ole NC

14 hours of driving+ beautiful weather= good travels
I have come up with new qualifying factor. If, after 2/3 of a travel, I have not been allowed to drive, I am then wholly entitled to become a backseat/passenger seat driver having not been given the chance to actually manipulate the direction and speed of the vehicle's path...
Glad to be home. Went to church this morning and a good number of people didn't recognize me. I'm going to blame that on the glasses and bangs.
Now off to 2-bit's shower...fun, fun
peace

counting down

20 days to go...the fact that I can count the number of days on each of my fingers and toes, without repeating, makes me sooooo very happy. Especially knowing I'll be gone for half that amount of time for 2-bits wedding. Deep down inside I'm sure I'll miss the greetings from people walking in front of my house yelling "whaddup my nigga*" followed by cursing to the house 2 doors down (*I am quoting verbatim, not using an ugly n-word. I did grow up in the South and know the power of such words when used in a different way). Currently, I am able to hear several teenage males yelling/laughing/cursing in that driveway through closed windows, over the sounds of the television and my fingers clicking on a keyboard (this group hasn't earned a nickname...yet). Thinking of all of this, I don't think I'll miss it, except the nicknames and the stories people often don't believe to be true. I won't miss feeling the need to check the police blotter regularly. I might even forget how to do it. Now that will be a happy day. In other news, catboy has worked several days this week sans scary car. I wonder if it was damaged or his employers finally figured out that it was a freaky vehicle and provided him with an alternative.
On the rampage front, Matt did officially apologize this morning. Yes, two days after the fact, but he takes a while to "digest" everything and think through it completely. He's such a wonderful man (99.25% of the time) that when he messes up (that .75%) it tends to be something that flies all over me.
I would like to ask anyone who reads this to please pray for Kennis. She is not doing well and her disease may have progressed and is now possibly causing seizures and paralysis. Her family is so strong, but this is one more battle I didn't want them to have to fight.
-peace, love, health

insight

"Sometimes we expect more from others simply because we would be willing to do that much more for them."
I got this quote from a friend who just graduated with her bachelor's degree. It really humbles me to see someone who is almost 10 years younger than me with the insight I wish I had.

grrrr

Today was one of those days that makes you question a lot and even more irritated. --caution,if you are not used to me using "ugly" language, stop here; otherwise, read with care and remember it's been a bad day...--
Today was new employee orientation for my new position doing what I've been doing for the last year. As I was getting ready this morning, Matt asked if I wanted breakfast. I said, no that they would have a breakfast for us (I had been told by current employees that orientation breakfasts were too good to ignore, but one point for Matt). I did mention, for the first time, that I would need to get some cash for lunch, knowing I had maybe one George Washington in my wallet. --Preface:we only have one bankcard and Matt carries it 85% of the time. We got it when we first got married because I wasn't the best at keeping track of spending in my check ledger.--I got ready and reminded him again about lunch money getting into the car. I had to run by the hospital because I forgot the letter they said I had to bring with me to the sessions, which it turns out I didn't need and then hopped out of the car at the locale de boredom and prepared myself for the fun of orientation. Less than a minute after getting out of the car, I realized I had not gotten any money and ran back outside to try to catch him before he left...too late. So I decided I should call his cell phone on the off chance he had it with him. He didn't so I left a message saying "hey, we (note we) forgot to get money for lunch. I have about a dollar so I hope you get this otherwise I'm going to have to be creative." You see, he was supposed to go with "the guys" to a baseball game at noon, the same time I believed I'd get a lunch break.
First, the breakfast was non-existent. We got coffee, that lousy hotel, watered-down kind you make yourself with the 2-cup maker at Ho-Jo's followed with "a" pastry at 10. So not only did I not get a substantial breakfast, I was not so sure I'd get lunch.
Lo and behold, I get a call at 10 a.m. (I left the message at 7:30) which I couldn't answer because I was in the middle of utter boredom. Plus I had minimal reception and not enough to even send a text. So when we wrapped up at 11:30 I got to check my message that said "hey, just got your message. We're going to head out in a minute." No fucking mention of the fact that I was about to not only be without a real breakfast but I was also about to be without lunch because at the locale, if you don't have cash or a university card, you don't eat. Nowhere takes a fucking credit card (which I did have) except downtown, and it was raining. So I decided to give him a call, after all it was raining. He answered the phone pretty quickly and, when I asked him where he was, he plainly stated that they decided not to go to the game because of the rain and that they (his friends) were now at lunch. LUNCH!!! When I asked where...downtown (3-5 blocks from where I was). Did I mention he didn't bother to call and let me know that and, had I assumed they were at the game, he would not have even called me to see if I wanted company for lunch. Then he had the fucking nerve to ask me if I wanted to join them. When I, in a very bitchy tone, said "Yeah, if I want to eat lunch." He simply responded "okay." So he at least offered to come pick me up (after I mentioned the fact that there was liquid falling from the sky). Never once did he mention the fact that I had no money and, had I not called, still would not have money. Once we got to the restaurant one of his friends, Lothar, had the fucking nerve to say "Matt had a sweet spot right in front until he had to go get you." Lucky for him it was a public place, because the true bitch in me almost came out and strangled him with his balls.
Now I realize the insensitivity shouldn't have enraged me so, but it got worse. I finished up with orientation, benefits--didn't really help me to like him more. I realized that all of my flex spending credits go towards his health and dental insurance, that I will actually still have to pay into every account despite getting over $600 in credit. (fucker needs to get a job with benefits.) Still, that wasn't enough to keep me in this shitty mood. That came when he dropped me off (close to 4) and told me he was going to pick up Lothar at the bowling alley literally 5 miles from our house, because that's where they went after lunch. I don't see him at 4:15, 4:30 or even 5. At 10 after 5 he calls to tell me that he's going to take Lothar home now and would be home in about 10 minutes and what did I want for dinner. He gave me suggestions. I guess he thought I was going to make dinner for him after his lazy ass packed "a" box for me, went to lunch and bowled with his fucking buddies all afternooon. Hell, the fuck, no! The sad thing is, he's still oblivious...completely oblivious, and if I mention anything to him he will try to find a way to turn it around (in his mind) that I do similar things to him...bullshit.
This rant is over.

party time

The last two days have been super-fun! Yesterday, the lovely Linda took Molly, Beth and me out to lunch to celebrate the new jobs and enjoy the weather. We went downtown and ate outside, which lent itself to awesome music by a band on the sidewalk. After work, Matt and I met up with Alyssa, Andrea, Meganne and Max for margaritas. Let's say El Ranchero makes a damn good margarita. The 6 of us split one pitcher and all felt really happy afterwards, which took us to the cake decorating for today...I have completed my maiden voyage into cake decorating for someone other than Matt. Alyssa and I came home, made icing and spent the next 5 hours decorating the cake and laughing, lots of laughing (yes, we were up until midnight). First we made a triple batch of icing only realizing when we ran out that we hadn't mixed the proportions right (still tasted good and worked well). The margaritas appear to have inhibited our ability to multiply by any number other than 2. We used 3 times the amount of butter and Crisco, but only 2 times the amount of vanilla, powdered sugar, and milk. I totally blame it on the margaritas.

Then came the coloring...that was fun. First we tried to mix up the black, blue, peach, mauve and brown. Let's just say I only did the brown and that's the only one that had to be made twice. The first batch didn't get dark enough brown so I thought it would be a good idea to add some black. Well, the black was blue-based and the brown ended up looking like poo, runny poo. Now here's where you know that my husband loves 2 things completely: me and icing. He took a spoon, sat in the living room and ate between three-quarters to a full cup of poo-colored icing, telling me the whole time how good it was (this was the first batch). So on the second attempt, the brown turned out much better.

Today was the shower and I was a wreck until about 1:30 when I decided I had time to watch So I Married an Axe Murderer and take a small nap. I completed small parts of both and was ready to go. I wrapped the presents, picked up the flowers, packed the cake (that was too tall to put the carrying lid on), put the "Thank You" notes in the car, and drove to OC. It was super. We had about 18-20 people and lots of fun times and presents. The best part...the couple LOVED their cake. Lots of fun was had by all.

plottin' 'n plannin'

Saturday is the shower Matt and I are throwing for Lucas and Erin. I think it'll be a grand time, but I'm always unsure that things will turn out the way I hope they will. I've been working on the flowers, the cake, and the guest list (12--not too big, not too small), but I think the biggest challenge will be the fact that graduation is Saturday and Mother's day is Sunday. This wasn't the best weekend to choose, but it was basically the only option, so I'm going to make the best of it. I'm actually quite excited for Erin to get presents. That was one of my favorite parts; to get cool gifts from people I love. I just finished baking the cake (vanilla mmmmmm) and Alyssa is going to help me decorate it tomorrow after end-of-the-semester margaritas, yes after margaritas. That should be interesting. The biggest challenge for me is that it's a "Jack and Jill" shower, so men and women (almost 50-50) and I don't want to do anything that the guys would think is dorky. I really liked having the platter painted at my first shower so I might do that for them, too. I think even the guys would like it. Matt was never able to attend any of my showers so he's not very helpful, though he tries. All in all, I'm planning away, hoping it goes well. We'll see. I still have tomorrow to work out the kinks.
peace, health, and love

a rumble with Thumper

Last night I finally decided I had had enough of Thumper and the shaking windows, vibrating floorboards, etc. Wait... first, I actually was fed up a few weeks ago. And I knew that she responded with "You need to get out of my face" when Ken asked her to turn her music down when she got to the house-- a month or more ago. I figured since they go to bed at 8, they wouldn't really hear here, but apparently it was one of her stronger nights. I decided that flashing the porch light, leaving a note on her car (passive-aggressive, I know) and people who live here actually talking to her was not going to work. So I called the company that's responsible for the boys next door. I simply asked the receptionist if she could ask the "young lady that comes in at 10 to turn her radio down." All I said was that it shakes the windows of my house and has woken us up. Apparently, that did nothing to quell her need for seismic sound...back to last night. Matt has descended into his usual--passing out on the couch before going to bed--and was on the verge of snoring. Almost exactly 10 p.m. we heard the thump, thump, thump of someone's radio and by "we" I mean she woke him up and we both heard her card pull into the driveway and sit there. So I looked out the side door and she had parked behind the evening caregiver's car (who, by the way, is completely normal and fairly cordial--there's at least 2 non-freaks). She then backed out of the driveway, pulled in front of our house and waited for this kid to leave, then slowly backed into the driveway. I stood the doorway (darkened) and waited patiently for her to get out of her car. She saw me standing in there and, from what I could tell, mentally prepared herself for a confrontation. When she did get out, she proceeded to brace herself against her car in a quasi-aggressive manner. The conversation went something like this:
Me: Excuse me, Miss...
Her: Look, I don't know why all you people think my radio's loud; I don't think it is.
Me: I understand that, but...
Her: If it bothers you I'm sorry, but it must be the bass in my car, but I don't think it's loud.
Me: Yes, sometimes it is but...
Her: well, I don't think it's a problem. It's not anything louder than your dog out barking, bothering people.
Me: actually it's quite different...
Her: Look, I only have a week and a half left, then you won't have to worry about me any more.
Me: The problem is that you woke up my husband and...
Her: Like I said, I'm sorry if it bothers you, but I don't think it's loud (walks away)
Me: All I'm trying to say is that it's disrespectful to the people who live here...
Matt: it is so loud, it shakes our windows, bitch! (He's got such a way with words and is so diplomatic.)
Me: Matt, don't cuss at her.
So now we'll have to wait and see what happens tonight. I didn't hear her this morning, for which I am very grateful (considering past 5:30 a.m. wake-up tunes). It will be interesting to see if she does anything in this next week and a half to be considerate (doubt it) or turn it up more (better chance). I realize it's a petty thing, but I'm proud of myself for my being able to contain my need to revert to the ugly side I'd really like to show. I'm tempted to apologize to her tonight for Matt cursing at her only I'm not sure she'll even give me the chance to say more than 2-3 words in a row...oh well, 30 days 'til we move, 9 days until she's done, which means 20 days of peace at 10 p.m.
peace, love and health

"I'm picking up good vibrations..."

Yes, the Beach Boys are ringing in my head.
I have to say this week has been one of the best we've had in a while. Everything we've wanted seems to be falling into place. I don't know that I could have said that last week when we found out that Matt didn't make the cut for the half-time position at Central, the cops needed to come to our neighborhood 3 times in the same night, and my next door neighbors are moving to a nearby town. This week, everything seems to have turned around (I actually think it started last Friday, when I got the job). First I had a great time hanging out with my many wonderful friends. Molly and I got to chill on Tuesday; I heard wonderful music on Wednesday and got to see both Allyss and Erin; a fantabulous lunch with Molly and Jana (two amazingly wonderful women) and my Matt; another amazing concert last night followed by more fun with Allyss and Art. Last night's concert was Allyss DMA conducting premier (I think). It was absolutely amazing and I'm not a big fan of choral concerts that last over an hour. This one was almost 2 hours--she was the second half, well worth the wait. And, we found out that everything is still moving forward with the house. The sellers have agreed to fix everything we requested, well, both things we requested. So 33 days from now, I'll be a very happy camper. Then this morning, Matt got the news that he won the spot in the Municipal band. Yay for $$. On top of getting to work with Charlie Vernon in June/July, he will be doing a lot of playing this summer.
This morning we got to talk to the In-laws. They sound great. Mom-i-l is waiting for her shingles to subside so she can get her last dose of chemo and Dad-i-l is just his normal fantastic self. We told them about our talk with our amazing friend, John, who is a PhD composition major. His works are fantastic and he agreed to write a piece for Kennis (trombone & piano). In return, they gave us even better news: Kennis was in Florida with her family and came down with a severe fever which landed her in the hospital(seriously it's good news). They did a CT scan and the tumor they said had grown back was GONE...not smaller, GONE! I can't express the extreme joy that everyone is feeling and hope the news just gets better. While she still has to have another spinal tap and is still working on getting her fever down, I pray the good news continues.
peace, love, health, and happiness (yes the salutations are getting longer)

The neighbors

I realized I've never really written about the excitment of our neighborhood. First, we live in the ghetto, which for our town isn't saying as much as, say, a big city like New York on Chicago. Still, it's the part of town that when you say the street name, you get the "oh, yeah" response from people who may be vaguely familiar with the town. So far we've given many nicknames to our neighbors. We'll start with the closest ones first.
We live next door to a young man with developmental delays who has 24-hour caregivers. He's a great kid, but some of the people who take care of him are interesting, to say the least. My current two favorites are catboy and thumper. Thumper is the easiest to describe. She's the night worker who takes her time backing into the driveway while the bass in her car rattles the windows, walls and floorboards of our house, thus her name . Catboy is definitely the more interesting of the two. Catboy is the nickname we gave to the rather hippy-ish guy who seems to be there all the time. He earned the name when he drove to "work" one day with a cat head mounted on the roof of his car. This cat head isn't fake, mind you, and has proceeded to decay for the past several months. It's freaky, very freaky! After the cat head, I don't think he really cared too much any more because then he added spray paint followed by random things glued on the hood and roof including but not limited to: bobble-head dolls, army men, action figures, plastic snakes, a plastic lion's head, pennies,a Jesus figure, a magnet that asked "If you died tonight where will you be going: Heaven or Hell?" and a cow/dog/goat skull. I know I'm forgetting some but it's an extensive list. The newest addition is some sort of Barbie doll bust, the kind little girls do hair and make-up on, over and over again. It's always interesting to see what "modifications" he's going to make each day.








Because there's no real way to describe his vehicle (other than pictures) I decided to take a few.
Plus, once we're in the new neighborhood and I complain about something ridiculously trivial, I'll remember these pictures. Looking at the picture on the right, you'll see the cat head--mouth open, eyes staring straight like a black cat on Halloween (or a cat about to be hit by a car)--notice that Homer and a gorilla are hanging with it, along with at least 7 cents.

happy day

Molly and I both got our jobs! I wish I had exuded with the same excitement she had (jumping up and down), but I would have dropped my lunch and scared Dr G, though in hindsight I wish I had. We are both extremely excited about being gainfully employed AND making more money than we have in the past months. Friday's sushi lunch will taste even better. With the job security and moving out of the ghetto I'm sure my life will become incredibly boring. Yet, that is something I am looking forward to enjoying. I don't think I'll miss the bicycle idiots, catboy and his car, thumper, mohawk man, mama, papa, little miss ho-ho, or any of the other exciting events and people we've experienced over the last 3 years. I imagine Sydne will become less neurotic and we'll be able to teach her not to bark when the UPS or FedEx guys delivers a package. I think our family will be happy all the way around, just less exciting.